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Making an effort

The path of healing is through love and compassion and you don't have to do your best for that, just be attentively present.

Who doesn't do it: make an effort?

Isn’t that also something that should be done? Because yes, you have to make an effort, otherwise it’s not really worth it. And what will others think? You have to make a good impression.

I am quite good at it myself. Not like I used to be thankfully, because that was pretty destructive. Through therapy, it became clear that was my go-to. Over the years I have learned to listen more to my own body, does something really feel good in the moment or a day later? What do I say and why, what does that do with myself and the other and how does that feel? So, I am not good with crowds or of city life, even though I have enjoyed living in Rotterdam for years. Even a year in London. My body tenses when I’m in those places for too long. Too much input for me. Through time I have been able to learn so much from my body (after hitting my head against the same wall 20 times). And I’m still learning a lot and still making an effort.

Keep it simpel.

Because of the Ayurveda in my yoga training, I am now preparing for a digestive reset (more on that in another story). A week of preparation, 2 weeks of simple/mono diet, 1 week back to ‘normal’. To allow my body to rest in what it has to digest. So eat nutritious food and at fixed times, without snacking. The morning routine (dinacharya) is also important in Ayurveda, which also gets more attention.

During our preparation talks, there was a whole list of things we could add to the morning routine, and “bad” habits that we could quit. My effort-voice became instantly enthusiastic. I don’t have that many ‘bad’ habits anymore because of my kidney condition, but there are always things that can be done differently. After the first meeting, the take-away was mainly: add 1 thing and let go of 1 thing, keep it simple, the key word in my training (and actually life…). That created great peace of mind. Because of this desire to make an effort, my body had unconsciously built up tension, about something that has the intention of rest and healing.

The path of healing consists of love and compassion.

This morning during my morning routine I was also making an effort during mediation. It was very subtle and when I realized it, acknowledged it and could laugh about it, it disappeared, for a while. It made me realize that the path of healing really is love. Love for what I do or don’t do. Compassion for myself and others, what they do, how they do it and the opinions about it. A softness towards that which does not work optimally, because that is the only way in which I can create more balance from a place of relaxation. Both in the way I move physically, as how I experience my thoughts and how I feel.